6. How Free Do You Want to be?

By: Kathleen Picardi

I heard it at a meeting yesterday, “How Free Do you want to be?”  It struck me, something I haven’t been asked or given much thought to.  Freedom, when I stopped drinking, I felt a huge sense of freedom.  Freedom from the chase, the planning, the obsession, and being imprisoned in my mind.  It’s been a while, and for the most part, Thank God, the obsession has been removed, but do I have complete freedom?  How free do I want to be, I had to give this some serious thought. 

The Third Step Prayer is my “go to” prayer.  The first time I heard the words, “release me from the bondage of self” I knew that was it.  I needed and wanted freedom from my negative thoughts, my self- judgment, and that all too familiar feeling of not being good enough. 

 This blog is my attempt at being courageous and taking a risk with my emotional exposure. Sharing it with you is as vulnerable as I’ve been in a while, it’s a huge step in freedom for me.  I’ve wanted to write a blog for two years, I’ve been writing, but deleting and giving up for those two years.  I’m venturing into saying what’s on my mind, and trying to let go of the fear of what you’re going to think of me, and my fear of social rejection. Am I a writer, No, but I want to be.

 This weekly blog is my breakthrough at speaking honestly, and my fear of emotional exposure and your opinion of me .  Your “opinion of me is none of my business”, a quote I love from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and I’m working on it.

How Free Do you want to be?